Miss me?

I miss you fucking blog. I miss you so much. While going about life in a ‘not-so-much-online’ kind of way, I’ve come to a couple conclusions. I think they’re a perfect “conclusion” to this blog as well. :)

My last post was a little bitchy. It’s hard to be as fair as I want to be when I’m as passionate as I am. I try so hard to things from other people’s points of view. It’s no mystery that the biggest portion of passion lies with animals. I try not to think badly of people who don’t share my passion, or who seemingly don’t share any kindness or empathy towards animals either; people who think they are above being an animal their selves, which is evidence to the contrary. Anyway—I try not to judge others for their lack of goodness.

This leads me to conclusion #1: no one is all good or all bad. Duh! I mean, that’s not exactly an eye-opening, life-changing epiphany there, is it? Well, actually it is when you really think about it and put it into practice. It’s like my talky blog I did a while ago when I said that no one is really stupid because everyone knows something you don’t know, and that no one is really ugly if you are looking through the right eyes. No one is all bad, and that is life-altering if you apply it correctly. Less judgement, more understanding.

Which leads me to my final conclusion: life is all about balance. This is really all anyone ever needs to know if you are knowing it with a kind heart, open mind, and wise soul.

 Bye blog! I love you!

Oh, Blog!

I’ve given up on the idea of cold-turkey-never-again-ity and have accepted the fact that I will probably succumb to the will of the blog in me from time to time. I’m sure there will be someday that I lose the desire to blog, but until then…

A few things that come to mind:

For one thing: I don’t know if I dress my man like a gay fellow, or just like a very preppy (and adorable) man who is comfortable with his sexuality and/or his woman’s sense of style and/or his woman’s demands. ;)

This is just a sample of the most recent venture to the men’s store for Clint some work clothes (taken from the website, of course). I love that I can play with colors so much with ties—they’re a fun accessory!

For two thing: I think that people who don’t care for the pets are bad parents. If one is lazy and resolved to believe that animals are ‘just’ animals, I think it’s safe to ascertain that you will be less-than-active as a parent. You will probably spank to get your way, and you will probably teach your children more about getting what they want than giving others what they need.

For final thing: Speaking of animals—I watched a documentary on PETA on HBO. I was expecting it to do one of two things: justify the crazy things PETA does; or bash PETA to bits. I was pleasantly surprised at how balanced it was. It was delightfully eye-opening. I get PETA now. I understand why they do some of the things they do. It has always been my opinion that PETA is a little radical at times, but ultimately they are a wonderful institution for animals. The good outweighs the bad. Now I am aware of even more that PETA has done. Did you know that they got companies like Maybelline and Loreal to stop testing on animals?

Sometimes they have to push the limits to get people’s attention. For example: they called Calvin Klein and asked him to stop getting his wool or leather or some sort of animal goods from a particular supplier that was notoriously horrid to their livestock. Klein ignored, refused, and brushed them off. PETA did a protest in their main offices and Klein called the CEO of PETA personally to say that he would no longer buy from those suppliers.

I don’t know where we would be in terms of the animal rights movement if it hadn’t been for PETA. They had two other animal organization spokespeople on the documentary: the human society, and some organization I’ve never heard of. They both said that PETA goes too far. I ask you and everyone not living under a rock—who do you think these assholes that treat animals like garbage hate the most? Who do they not want finding out about their practices? Who do they FEAR? It’s not the humane society, and it’s not some organization very few people have heard of; it’s PETA.

So fuck the nay-sayers. Fuck you all. I’d rather be a crazy PETA demonstrator than a cold, heart-less, lowlife, son-of-a-bitch, animal-abuser or enabler. If you watched this documentary and didn’t feel the same way, you are probably breathing air better suited for someone of greater value to the world. I’m increasing the amount I’m donating to PETA every year. I’m increasing it more than I probably should. Like Ingrid said: we will all be held accountable for our actions someday. 

And this crazy little group of nut-jobs is only 300 people strong—that includes the secretaries and mail room people, etc. They aren’t a enormous company, and yet they manage to get as much done as they do. I am in love with PETA right now.

I Am An Animal: The Story of Ingrid Newkirk and PETA

I will say, though, as I always strive to be fair and balanced, the things she’s having done to her body after her death are pretty damn crazy.  

dear blog, I miss you. If I were still writing in you I would probably write about such things as how selfish it is to have babies or how clint and I have decided to adopt…someday…if I decide I ever do want children. I probably never will. Or I would write about how some people mistake my excitement over moving or the future in general as discontent with the present. I would write that it wasn’t true and that I am so happy and optimistic that I look forward to more life. I might even write about how much I love therapy and how I think it should be mandatory for everyone. I would make a comment about how I’m not sure I agree with her opinion of Internet culture, but then ultimately agree. I know she is right. I would likely do all of this on my phone, which I would be looking forward to replacing with iPhone2 coming out soon. Then I would have to cut the entry short because my battery would be low. Love, mandy

Ok, 1 more...

I finally got my blog list down to 20, so I thought I’d share one last time. ;) I may change these from time to time, but they all sound good for right now—especially out of my list of hundreds.

Gossip:
Perez Hilton

Gadgets:
Engadget
Gizmodo
Popgadget

Shopping and/or Environment:
Modern Materialist
Hippyshopper
Treehugger
Moderncat

Internet/Tech/News:
Digg
Lifehacker
Download Squad

Local:
News OK
About.OKC

Beauty:
Beauty Snob
DeLush

Entertainment/Humor/Etc:
Post Secret
Overheard in NY
Not Always Right
Swissmiss
So Very Alone

Oh...

I forgot to mention what else I’m doing! This is the last one—I swear! I’m limiting my daily blogs to 20, which may sound like a lot to you but it was severely hard to do. I’m only checking emails, playing an occassional Pogo game (or MMO!), shopping—though not as much, and looking things up. Basically what ‘normal’, non-addicted people do. I’m just telling you in case I can be inspiration to ween yourself off too. :) The only chatting I do will be done during those hours, and I’m making new accounts so I can streamline.

I haven’t decided if I’m going to continue to post pictures of the cats on Flickr. It’s more of a social network now, which is what I’m trying to avoid. It stopped being about ‘I don’t want to congest your email, so go here if you want to see them’ and more about “oooh, look what Cupid did today!” or “ooooh, look what I got Opal!” I knew it took a turn when I started getting frustrated over not getting perfect shots and when I would bother the cats every time they were cute so I could share it. I think I’ll limit pictures to events and new things, so if I do post pictures, it’ll be less frequent.

I think the only place you’ll find me online is Kaboodle, because I’ll probably still make lists of things to get or for Clint to get me. It’s basically anything I’ve seen online and might want in the future. It might give you ideas!

OK, I think that’s it.

Sigh

I have bad news e-friends. My new therapist, whom I love by the way (!), said that keeping a blog is not conducive to the type of person I am or want to be. I told her that it helps me figure things out because I gain insight when I take the time to put my thoughts together in complete sentences. She assured me that keeping a private journal would be just as helpful for that. I told her that I use it to keep my friends updated on my life. She asked me how many friend I have that viewed it, and I told her it’s mostly e-friends, but still! She smiled. I told her that maybe I just have a journalistic nature and that’s how I interact with the world. She said that if it is truly my nature and passion, I should be doing it for a living and actually getting something from it. She said it does more harm than good by doing it as a hobby if it’s truly a passion. I told her: “…but! What if I help someone with my insight?!” She said that it wasn’t my responsibility to help anyone and we would talk about that and my guilt another time.

She said that people who keep personal blogs do so mainly out of ego. Who wants to read some-one’s day-to-day thoughts, feelings, and mundane adventures? She said that I would benefit more from keeping a private “online journal” because although it is instant gratification of posting it out into the electronic world I immerse myself in, it’s not actually doing anything to help me grow. I told her I’ve had a blog for around eight years and I promise it HAS helped me a bunch of times.

We went on to talk about the internet and how many people I look up to use it as much or in the ways that I do. None, I told her.

*sniff* I have to quit you!

;)

Seriously—I’m sorry. If I don’t send you an email giving you my new, limited email address: goodbye!

I’m limiting my time online in general. No more than 3 hours a day total, 1 hour at a time. 1 hour in the morning, 1 during the day, and 1 at night. I’m going to be volunteering at a couple of places and I’m still deciding whether or not I want a part-time job. I’m also going to be traveling more because we talked about how worried I am about my cat when I’m not with them.

I think everything she said made sense. It’s really nothing I didn’t already know. We all know what type of people inhabit the sticky webs of the information superhighway! I’ve been an internet junkie since 1995 when I used to skip school because I was too tired from staying up all night chatting. Then around 2000 when I had two insane, scary stalkers from the webcam communities I went to. I was pretty much over the internet at that point, but it is THE easiest way to combat boredom!

I might come back later. This is a trial basis, she said. I didn’t need her to tell me this, but I’m glad she did. Remember how annoyed I get when I say the same thing as a PHD and no one listens to me, but a PHD says it and people listen? I get it! People just want confirmation!

She said Twitter is basically a mini, even-more-instant-gratification blog, so I’m quitting that too. I’m just trying to be the best me I can be. That’s all I’ve ever tried to be.

You know, it makes sense. She said that it’s basically a performance. Even on my Frappy Hours, I wanted to share so much that I would get frustrated when I didn’t get a picture of something instead of just enjoying it.

It’s up to YOU to live your life. I’m sorry I can no longer entertain you for a few minutes. :)

iMandy

The new iMacs came out today and I tried to convince Clint that I needed one.

“They can play games now as well as my PC and they come up to 24” so I wouldn’t lose monitor size.”

I read him the specs to let him tell me if mine is better or worse. I totally win!

iMac to Mandy’s PC
(up to) 3.06 GHz Core 2 - 3.2 GHz Core 2
6MB shared L2 cache - 8MB shared L2 cache
(up to) 4MB 80 MHz DDR2 - 4MB 1033 MHz DDR2
nVidia GeForce 8800 GS with 512 MB GDDR3 - nVidia GeForce 8000 GT with 512 MB GDDR3

Where I lose:
(up to) 1T hard drive - 250G hard drive
24” 1920 x 1200 display - 22” 1600 x 1080

So all that gibberish and the rest of the gibberish I saved you from translates to is: I have a better-performing machine than the new iMac, but the thing that has always mattered to me most remains the same: iMac looks cooler. I have wanted an all-in-one ‘thing’ since before they made them. I am so tired of having an ugly PC tower under my desk. It is impossible to find a pretty desk that has room for it. :) I know, the world will go on spinning.

I promise I’ll never mention it again!  

"Game" shows you how horrible you are...

This “game” tells you how many Earths we would need to sustain us if everyone lived like you do. What I found most shocking was that we are less eco-friendly than people who make over $200,000 in these areas: electricity, food, and shopping. I don’t believe the shopping thing at all because yeah, I don’t save and reuse as much as I could but if I were making $200,000 a year, I would just be buying more. Electricity & Food were MUCH higher. I never thought about how much electricity we use. Our average monthly bill for electricity is $150 and our average gas bill is $130. The average for the entire country was one-half that for two people. As for food—I already knew we were eating out too much and I’ve tried to change that. 

I went back and ‘played’ the game, picking the best answers possible to see how many Earths that would take. It would take .9 Earths if everyone lived as eco-friendly as possible. That means no traveling by anything but foot and bicycle, living in a 500 SF apartment home, recycling 100% of your trash, buying all of your food from local sources, and using solar or wind to power your itty bitty home. Sounds great. 

I feel bad that I would rather not live on Earth if that’s what I had to do—especially the house part. And no shopping. And no buying electronics when something new comes out. Basically living in a village where your only entertainment is dancing around a fire. Sometimes I feel like simplifying, but that’s a bit much for me!

I do what I can when I can. I do quite a bit relatively speaking! Yet it’s not enough, for if everyone were like me, we’d need 7.5 Earths. Thanks for making me feel like a terrible person, “GAME”. Seriously, I love the concept of the game. I always try to think in terms of “what if everyone were like me”. A better place, it would be! Except for the not having enough resources to live thing.

 ;)